Ronaldo needs no introduction but I do. Then again I’m boring but Ronaldo’s intriguing because he’s famous, and rich and a star player. He would most certainly get away with things that common folks like you and I can’t. So if God today, in a lavish mood decides to interchange our lives (mine and Ronaldo’s), what will I do with fame and power like his? If you ask me I’d say it is my duty to live as humanely and entertainingly possible. These are the top 10 things I’d do if I were Cristiano Ronaldo. Buckle up, here we go.
Things I Would Do If I Were Cristiano Ronaldo
Hire A Band Who’d Sing Songs On My Life (And My Life Only)
So, that one day the songs will turn into something like folklores. People will hum my names in musical tunes, drink and dance on my songs for centuries to come.
Storytellers will narrate tales of how I defeated my opponents when there was no hope. All the children will listen in awe. And, ain’t I a genius to have come up with such an idea.
Buy An Ice-Cream Van Like Rupert Grint
That’ll be my retirement plan. Since I’m so good at what I do, the thought of losing my ability to do it will creep into my mind quite often, I imagine. I’ll have to have a solid retirement plan.
So why not turn my greatest childhood fascination like that of the famous Harry Potter actor Rupert Grint, of becoming an ice-cream man who apparently eats his own ice-cream and doesn’t bother selling because I already have tons of money, geniuses.
Marry A Queen Of Some European Island
Because given a chance everybody would like to sit in a throne. Being backed up by a royal family and an amazing title like ‘king’ or ‘emperor’ (even ‘prince’ would do) is one of the coolest things ever.
And it’s not entirely one-sided, for the Queen will get to marry the greatest football player and get free passes to grand football tournaments.
Wear Ridiculous Clothes
I’ll think of being fashion-forward and staying in the limelight, always. Say no to traditional boring outfits. Dark shades rock but since I’m planning to shine, bright pants, velvet shirt and big round so-luminous-that-eyes-hurt kind of goggles.
And, big heavy gold chains too hung from my neck and wrapped around my wrist (coz I’m rich and I know it)!
Found A Secret Society With Powerful And Honest People From The Football Industry
To see the sport I love, the sport that has made me what I am today, being tainted by money-suckers is hard. Therefore I’ll start a secret society to purge the football industry from corruption with the help of dedicated people from the industry.
You may be thinking, why create a secret society to do all that? That’s because they fascinate me and because I’m Ronaldo, goddammit and I’ll do what I wish!
Build A Museum For Myself Where Each Year A Wax Statue Of Mine Will Be Constructed And Put On Display
The museum will record my transition into old age, my achievement, and my legendary stuff If I Were Cristiano Ronaldo. The perks of having your own museum are that it’ll make you immortal.
You won’t just live on Wikipedia pages and people’s memories but inside a house with dozens of our replicas. That, to me, is the epitome of narcissism.
Do a series of fitness videos and upload them for free
If I Were Cristiano Ronaldo, I’ll do it for the love of my fans. Ronaldo is a fitness model and although news websites have often revealed his health and fitness tips, wouldn’t it be better if fans could live my fitness routine.
See me sweat out to get those moves right and the abs that I don’t forget to flaunt whenever I get the chance to. Also, it’ll be much motivation for several people to live healthily and live longer.
Domingo em família ❤️ pic.twitter.com/JRBzrLMna8
— Cristiano Ronaldo (@Cristiano) September 15, 2019
Go On World Tour And Randomly Visit Local Football Clubs In Disguise
And then upload the video and see the world going nuts and everyone falling in love with me all over again. It’ll be fun to shock common folks and capture their incredible reaction but for security reasons (obviously) I’ll have to be in disguise but hey, I’ll get to flaunt my acting skills If I Were Cristiano Ronaldo.
Besides, seeing people playing football far from the limelight of the stadium and pressure of the fans, not caring about earning money or getting selected by a top-notch club, playing just for the love of the game, will be the most humbling experience I can think of.
Make up new slangs and write a damn book on it
Something on the line of Peter Mark Roget who created the first thesaurus, because why not! Swearing portrays blunt forwardness and I am the ‘take-no-sh*t’ type If I Were Cristiano Ronaldo. Doing something like this suits my personality and Ronaldo too, only if he would bring himself to do it.
Besides, a recent study at Keele University in Staffordshire has shown that people who curse are a lot tend to be hotter, less stressed and confident.
I’ll become the next ‘Oprah Winfrey’
Now that the world already knows how wealthy, how insanely popular athlete I am. So, a talk show exclusively for athletes and people from the sports industry is a sure-shot hit. Besides, imagine the number of people I’ll touch and get to know about If I Were Cristiano Ronaldo.
In the end, I’ll emerge with a richer (both literally and metaphorically) and a humbler heart. No matter what he does, it’s a win-win situation for Cristiano Ronaldo.
So these were the top 10 things I would do if I were Cristiano Ronaldo. Tell us what would you do if you were Cristiano Ronaldo in the comments down below.